Sunday, December 30, 2012

Loss of Identity

Suddenly tnite, in the mood to blog
I dont know what i am going through, 
I dont know who I am becoming. 
Maybe im not cool enough, but then, it has never been my personality this way
I am slowly becoming you, I am slowly becoming a copy of you, why
There are times when i feel really depressed, i dont know what i should do.
Awkwardness, I wanted to escape, but i dont know who to turn to.
I dont know who will understand , i dont want to become their burden. 
Or perhaps i just dont feel like explaining
If you are with me, you wont push for answers, instead you will just be with me, make me happy, i feel it. 
I feel i dont have time for anything else, or for anybody else,
Even though you may be the most important people in my heart. 

I stare up in the sky thinking, 
Am i really that fragile
Where are my limits, what am i actually capable of doing 
I have never felt such a loss of energy before
Sometimes i just feel like leaving
But where can I go. 

In the midst of everything im facing, there are things which i really dislike
Is when people keep saying that my job is simple
You need to understand, they dont pay us much for nothing
There are certain sacrifices that we need to make
Once said, is enough. If you dont understand, there's nothing i can do about it, there's ady no meaning. 
I am not cold-blooded to ignore, just that sometimes,
I just feel that it has become a little meaningless 
Because you are not with me.

This post is a very sad post, but its how i am feeling, those that can be expressed through words
What i can do now is just to do my best
And the rest, 
Leave it to god, and to those who can determine my fate. 
I am really tired. 
But the race goes on. 

December 30 Hours 0205

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