April

After a few weeks of not logging into blogger, wow the layout changed

Need some time to get used to it :P

In the settings, they asked if i wanted to connect blogger to google plus

And after thinking, i decided not to

Cz there are some times i prefer keeping to myself and caring friends

Instead of gossipers or backstabbers

So many things on my mind these few weeks

But i am actually secretly glad im occupied with lab work

Because, i wont have much time to think too much

However, lab work is so tiring. Getting to faculty early in the morning and getting back late in the evening

Worse than 8 to 7 work. At least they have lunch hour. I dont.

Not that i dont want. Its cz i have no choice.

Survival for the fittest swt

Or maybe i should rephrase

Survival to fight for the double beam spectrometer

Seriously, i am very sick of fyp
I wake up thinking of fyp and i sleep thinking of fyp omg

Its like a never ending process with many many mistakes and low significance

As if the results will change the world? Impossible. Well at this moment, its really impossible

I have many doubts. Many questions. Many unknowns. No time. No energy. 

Pray for me, everything will be okay. God bless.

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Today, saw something that touched my heart.

As i was driving from faculty heading to my house after texture analyzing,

I saw a dog. Thin. Determined. Chasing a car.

All the way from old flat bus stop to engineering fac roundabout

Where it has no choice but to give up due to traffic.

There are moments when it slowed down when the car slowed down

And as it raced to the front car door barking along with it

Somehow i feel so sad. Why is the owner so heartless

If you really want to leave it, just stop and say a final goodbye

Leaving without a single word, it is just so cruel

I dont know why i become so sentimental,

I just feel like stopping and give it a hug

Its okay if he doesnt want you, there are many others who care

Or perhaps i am just thinking too much

Perhaps the dog just finds pleasure in chasing cars

That i do not know

But i hope

It has an owner who really cares for it becz it deserves it

Just like any others

April 26 2012 Hours 2313

Uncertain

Here comes the time

When i am again uncertain on what i should do

Doing something for a reason, no longer makes sense

Its a if i have become so robotic

Wherever people go, i will go, but i dont know why.

Pathetic isnt it?

They say, dont ever look back.

But why do i keep looking back?

Whats so nice at the back?

Just a pitch of darkness. Dimness. Absolutely nothing.

Humans. Why do they keep telling themselves something but do things differently?

Who are we trying to fool?

Or should i rephrase..

Who am I trying to fool?

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There was a time when my msn status spells- afraid.

A friend asked me- why am i afraid?

He told me i have always been a strong girl and is never afraid

I was fascinated. Because i realised thats the impression im giving you?

I am not tough. But i am trying to be.

I am afraid, because i no longer know myself

I become so foreign.

But luckily my white blood cells can still recognise me. Haha. Cold joke

But seriously..

I dont know how to explain. But i hope my fever will recover faster. Sponsor me panadol, anyone?

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Yesterday, marked the start of week 8 of final sem

So many mixed emotions altogether........

I just knew,

Many things changed

And it will never be the same again

April 17 2012 Hours 2319

MYee Wmy's Sheryl

For those who doesnt know me,

Let me tell you briefly who i am.

This post is so random huh? I treat it as a self-reflective post.

I am someone who likes adventures

Challenge me, i will surprise you.

I cant say i am emotional, but you can say i am sentimental

I am not one who is easily influenced by emotions and to think much of consequences

But touch my heart, and i am yours.

I am weak when i am afraid to know the answer

I love peace and quietness when i need to sort out my thoughts

But i like living in the dark in the world of beats and party

I am strong when i know what i want

I am not the host of the party, but i like being there

I am sensitive towards words and actions

Can be said i am blessed with the ability to read people

I know, but i wont reveal

And i prefer apologizing rather than to fight back

If a 5-letter-word has the potential to save a friendship, why not?

I love people slowly, and is not the type who will love at first sight

Love at first sight will just reveal admiration and nothing more

I care for people in the background, not directly

Because i believe, everyone needs to have to confidence to support oneself and not dependent on other people at all times

I am not that strong, but i hate people who like to cry over small matters

Really really ... omg. Its okay to cry but dont be teary, dont know why, just not my tea

Maybe guys will like girls who cry more because they need more protection? I dont know

Although i am strong-willed, but i too, have a soft spot

Because of this soft spot, i am easily hurt.

But even when i am hurt, you can hardly see unless you understand me very well

Because i dont want people to worry about me,

I prefer keeping to myself and not letting my emotions show

Give me a shoulder or a hand, i am touched ❤

I may appear secretive

Because i dont like people to judge me when they know some and not know some

I am more to a listener instead of a speaker

I am straight forward, so i think i hurt people sometimes without my knowledge

If i hurt you i sincerely apologize i am sorry

There are many times when i regret words after saying them

Close friends who understand me wont mind, i guess

But sometimes i can be tired too being the person i am not

I care of small details, because small things are what that matters,

Whether you are sincere or just doing it as a sake of responsibility

There are many things i wont mind doing/sharing

But preferably dont do this to me when i am under stress

Because i am also human.

I am a lazy girl. I admit. haha

If there's a short cut for self-chores i will take it if the outcome is the same

Being a Sagittarian, does that influence who i am?

Or should i say,

Do you care about me to truly understand who i am actually?

April 13 2012 Hours 2318

a day of continuous thinking and emotions sorting--whyyyyyyyyy