Everytime

Everytime when im feeling down, im always glad that my blog is here to accompany me

Perhaps im tired of explaining

Or just want time to sort out my thoughts 

So that i can have a clear picture of whats going on.

Sometimes, i just wish that you are here with me just like before 

Beside me to accompany me when im down 

Just staying beside me. But now cant any longer

You have changed. And undeniably, i have, too. 

Perhaps, its just the feeling of loneliness. But sometimes, undeniably, i miss you

As a friend. 

Two more days to go

I am afraid. Really afraid. 

Even though i dont show it, but maybe closer friends can feel it 

Every night, i pray to god for the outcome i wish for 

But in the end, i am actually unsure what outcome i really wanted

To stay or not to stay? 

Though im not the one to decide, but there should be something i really wanted

What is it that i really wanted? I dont know

Im confused. 

Once again, i lost direction

Read a book yesterday, well it has been ages since i last read a book in a bookstore but it captivated me

And a line instantly got my attention - who am i? 

Who am I? 

I live for people, or i live for myself?

Everything i do, i do it for myself or for the sake of other people? 

Well, its inter-related, perhaps 50 50 

Thats why the direction is unclear, cz its also 50 50

Cant full heartedly choose a direction because there are many factors

Fairy tales lie.

Following your heart, is never always an option. 

I have also read, 

It doesnt matter where we are going, but it matters who we are becoming. 

But for me, it matters where i am going. Triple sweat 

I dont like the feeling of being abandoned. Its just so, abandoned 

Sometimes, i wonder why life is so uncertain

I know, this is a part of growing

Say im childish, but can it be possible that everything just stays the way it is?

Everyone remains the same, everything there stays 

I am really tired, really really tired 

Please pray for me

At the end of 2 months,

All will be fine

Where will our future lie? 

Btw, super super love this song

Was listening to this while i was writing this blog

So it should be here.

=)

Time to sleep 

Stay with me in my heart 

March 25 2013 Hours 2159

Determination

There are many ways to determine what position, a person belongs to in your heart. 

Take a bus to no where without a phone

When you reach an unfamiliar place,

See who's face surfaces in your brain

And who's number you remember

He or she is the kindest, and most generous

And you will remember his/her number because he/she is always on ur contacts list, there for you.

This is the person which your heart thinks, will be able to help you most.

He/she is family in your heart. 

On facebook chat on your lappie,

Leave your phone next to you with the notifications alert on.

Do work on another browser/another laptop

Upon hearing your phone's notification tone

The first person which comes to your mind,

Is someone you always corresponds with.

He/she, is your best friend who is always there to share your ups and downs 

Or he/she thinks you are his/her best friend, and wants to share news with you

Upon seeing the name

If you find the need/enthusiasm to reply the soonest possible
Or he/she can make you smile even in rainy skies 

He/she is important to you

After you reply,

And he/she does not reply 

And you actually anticipate his/her reply,

And gets really happy when his/her name comes out

You are starting to develop feelings for this person because you start to care about this individual

If you do not find passion in replying

Or you feel disappointed that his/her name appears instead of another person

Replying a message seems more like a responsibility as to not to hurt a friend

Or you choose to close the conversation box and worst, forget about it,

Then he/she is a pitiful person

Because he/she found the faith in the wrong person. 

And if this person is still there for you regardless of how you treat him/her

Then you are in deep trouble

Because you hurt someone who cares for you

And someday you are going to regret it.

But have you ever wondered, 

By not replying, I am actually treating you better

Because i know you can find someone who appreciates you more than i do. 

Do not waste time on me because maybe, I am not worth it.

When you listen to a song

And a person comes to your mind

Or when you go to a place

And everything about there reminds you of this person

You keep wondering what they will say/react when they are there with you

This person means a lot to you

You miss him/her.

When you are sad and really needs someone to talk to

And this person comes to your mind

If you can call this person without doubt and just tell him/her everything 

Without fear that he/she will betray you

Without fear that he/she will laugh at you, but instead, laugh and cry with you

You are confident that he/she can make you feel better

And you really did

Do not give up on this person

Because you have found a true friend, or more than friends. 

If you want to call this person, 

But you know that he/she have other commitments or will not be able to answer your call

Or he/she is not yours any longer

Then give up on this person

Because he/she will only make you feel more sad

Most probably, he/she has moved on, he/she is someone you once loved, maybe still loving, but cant any longer.

__________________________________________________________________________

I know that after reading this
You will try to categorize yourself into whatever category mentioned.
Please dont. Because its not worth judging yourself and thinking too much.
If you are my friend,
You will accept me for who i am.
Nothing changes.
But sometimes, I tend to ask myself
Will you be having a better life now if you have never known me?

Two days ago,

After finishing my route plan

I find myself driving without any aim and surprisingly,

Suddenly think of you zzz

March 3 2013 Hours 0039 time to do assignment