Smile =)

The lesson of today..

Smile, and the world will be a better place.

But i cant smile today. I'm sorry..

I spent 3 hours in the library but nothing moved..

I dont know why, things keep stacking up.

How to clear them? How to manage them? I have no answers..

I want to study. But i cant get far. This is absurd.

I cant believe this, but i have to admit, i'm having trouble with time management..

20 credits this semester. Loaded. The 1st semester that i'm overcredit thanks to BBI..

But i still keep my last-sem pace, possibly even slower..

Which is a bad thing..

Something is getting worrying. LI. Haiz..

I hate the blur blur feeling where nothing seems to get done. Absolutely hating this feeling

I know I shouldnt feel this way, but i feel so frustrated.

What should i do? Haha.. Go back and study instead of blogging. Yes i really should.

But everything's the same.. easier said than done..

Its the 3rd week ad. So fast. Time flies. Or flied. Without me realising..

Something very funny happened today.

I think my sweater is attracting a lot of attention. Sweat..

But its so lovable. I cant resist buying it ( I told you all i love cute things haha)

I didnt waste money.. i really need a new sweater after my old one was stained after an episode of pitiful coffee..

Long story.. I better not type it here. You guys will laugh yourselves silly. Just like my fren did over the phone. Swt..

Haha. Enough of crapping. Have to go and start on my new plan =)

Smile, and goodbye

July 28 Hours 1833

p/s Blogging mood is irresistible. Blekss. Probably the last post for this week, haiz.. long long day tmr..

Can i skip tmr and go straight to Friday? =p

Dreaming

How i wish, i'm in a dream.

In a dream whenever i want to and dream whatever i want

In a dream, anything can happen.

I can eat whatever i want and not gain a single kg..

I can take anything i want and not pay a single cent..

I can sleep all i want and still pass exams with excellent results..

I can curi tulang for all i want and still get reports done..

I can go wherever i want to with you..

I can do absolutely everything. Anything. Anywhere. Anytime

I can afford to make mistakes and not needing to bear the consequences..

Lol. This is crazy. I am crazy.

Pinching myself now, i dont feel the pain.

Because of you, i'm not scared of pain.

Because, I'm developing a resistance, i had had enough.

Its time.. to move on.

I mean it.

July 28 2010, Hours 1754

p/s I took this picture of the book at Borders, when i have money, this is going to be the 1st on my reading list.

Or is anyone kind enough to lend me ? =p

Tuesdays

I hate Tuesdays.

My Tuesday timetable has been made upside-down by the dumb class i'm taking.

Only one hour, super bored, super far, but i have to be there. Haiz..

Good news: I finished my reports i was supposed to finish up 3 days ago. I thought i would never get them done. Haha..

And today, i got my friend one cute bday gift. Yay. Hope you like it =)

Haha. What happened to me? In 5 days, i bought 3 gifts for my friends.

But satisfied with all =)

Actually like ystdy, i wanted to blog about something else, something left untouched.

But ystdy i had no line, today i have no mood.

So thats all for now, class now. Before that, sharing a picture, tada..

International Food Fair 2010. Thank you guys. Muakzz

July 27 2010, Hours 1852

Coursenight 2010

Idiot experiment.. i gave up on it. I have no data for 2 columns, goodness know how i'm going to draw the graph.. really swt..

Supposed to be typing my resume now, but somehow, i dont have the mood.

Wanted to watch dramas, but somehow, i dont have the initiative to start the 1st episode.

Haven been watching dramas for ages. I'm not busy. But i dont know why, i dont have the time to do so. Haiz..

So here i am. making use of the alamak internet connection to blog. Haha.

Brwosing through my photo album, there're just too many photos i want to upload, but thinking that i'm in college now, i'm lazy to even start trying loading. I'm sorry

The same line again, give me some time ya =p

So back to the topic, lets talk about coursenight.

This yr is so special. Our juniors have the initiative to get us specialised invitation cards.

Lol. Actually i have decided i would go even before i get this card. But there's no one writing their names down besides BS and KiSheng, so i didnt. I bet of coursemates also have the same thoughts.. i know some who have.. dont deny haha

But anyway, the card is cool. Thanks =) Especially when we start comparing cards, then we realised we are the fortunate batch.

But kinda feel sorry for you guys, after the hassle of going and not going, we may be boikoting your theme as no one wants to go with masks. Erm.. too poor to buy masks.. I also dont know, follow majority..

but hope that night will be a great night. Yay..

That day when i was shopping, suddenly thought of getting something for my senior. After all he has done for us, i guess its only appropriate that i give him something back as a gesture of gratitute and thanks..

Thinking if i should post this here. But i guess he wont read my blog, so i guess its okay for me to continue. Haha..

I dont know what to get for him. Its not hard to buy something for a guy, but its hard to get something that is useful, and not make him misunderstand.

Normally i wont think much before getting a gift for someone as i ad had the thought of their reactions when they receive gifts from me.

Frens who had accompanied me to buy gifts before will know. I spend money extremely fast. When i think its worth it, i will buy it. I wont think much. Haha

Now only i realised something. I know him for who he is, but i dont know him at all actually. What he likes, what he does, really blank. The normal gifts i used to get, seems weird for him. So how?

So haha. Instead of getting something from his perspective, i decided to get him something I like, hoping he will like it too. Erm..

I thought it was smart of me. But after i got it back, i started to feel weird about this gift. Seems so kua jeong... Sweat.. I think the box alone will scare him haha

Right? Seriously..

Plus after reading this from the magazine the same night ( what a coincidence swt)

..ehem.. i feel.. ehem..

Okay la, its not pink. But i have to agree its cute. The things i like cant run far from the word cuteness. Seriously. Lol

But in the list of ''good suggestions'', all those are toys and figurines, and one statue of liberty statue. Har?? Haiz..

So i got started on my Plan B. Haha. When i do things, i like back-up plans. Anything. Just my style. I dont know why. So this is not an exception.

In conclusion: Hard to buy a gift which will signify the right intention

July 27 2010 Hours 0052

Luck

Trying out my luck tonight. Haha. So unexpected. I'm typing this using uspot.

Actually i'm supposed to be doing my 3305 report but suddenly my itchy hands wanted to on fb.

But sadly cant open fb so opened blogspot instead to try my luck. So here i am blogging =)

Good thing or bad thing? Haha. I'm so tired, racing against time, but i still want to blog.

Wow so long never blogged from my laptop ad. 2 weeks ad. Wow. How time flies

2 weeks. What have i done? Too many things. But also too many regrets.

But i dont know what to say. How to say. But its okay. It hardly matters.

Actually i wanted to blog about something else, but with uspot, i'm uncertain. Nvm la. Another time.

S0 how's my 2 weeks?

4 movies under my belt, International Food Fair, International Toy Fair, Malaysia's Nutrition Fair, plus lots of shopping.. and byebye money..

But its worth it. Spending money is not included in the list of regrets i mentioned. Although my bank account hurts, but its worth it =)

Some mouliu photography.. to keep the line going so that i wont get disconnected. Haha..

And i had had my 1st 3D movie experience. Erm, maybe i'm tired, but somehow, 3D makes me feel dizzy. Lol. Everything seems to be spinning.. swt..

Maybe the glasses are too heavy. Feels so weird wearing 2 pairs of glasses at the same time. Nxt time if you wat to watch 3D movie with me, tell me before hand ya, i'll wear lens instead. Haha

Sorry ya, i promised you i will watch our 1st 3D together, but i watched 1st without you. Nvm. Someday we go together ya

Tata. Before the movie, with my sis

The movie was great. I love Vector. Haha. With magnitude and direction. Yay.

Update next time. Its time to get back to reports before blogging get me carried away from my main course.

p.s. As i'm typing this my fren called to ask me reg experiment reports. Make me feel even more guilty.... Feel even more guilty when i dont know the answers to his questions.. haiz

MunYee MunYee.. you need to study ad.. dont play ad...

July 26 Hours 2352

The line of the day

When a man and a woman fall in love. It's entirely because of their attitudes in life plus chemistry. From the standpoint of science when a man and a woman get together, the secretation of the enzyme phenylalanine in their bodies will increase. It makes you feel elated. It's a happy feeling. When the concentration keeps increasing, both person will be affected by this enzyme simultaneously. They will feel deeply in love. This state and relationship can be defined as love. (Adapted from the Mysteries of Love)

Now i know what defines love from the scientific view, I start to wonder. What defines a man.

To me, a man is someone who has targets and dreams, and also works hard to get what his heart seeks.

He is clear from the beginning, what he really wants. Ideas may change, plans may change to be more adaptable, but he must never lose his direction.

He is determined, he knows when he is right, when he is wrong, but most importantly, he must know when is the right time for everything, and also when to give in.

He needs to be caring, and sensitive to the thoughts of others, but not too vulnerable until he starts doing what people expects him to do until he lost his own stands.

He needs to have his principles well defined and always be flexible for changes to survive. He needs to be firm, but always respect the thoughts of others, being considerate.

He needs to be responsible for his words, and be true to his feelings. He uses his heart as much as he uses his brain. Both needs to be equal, for it has be meant this way that god gives us one heart and one brain, not more, not less.

Handsome-ness is only exterior, but the feelings inside, remains. The charm, the passion, the eyes, the look, stays.

And i think, that whats keep us going.

But not any longer.

July 22 2010, Hours 1448

Stressed

I'm very stressed.

Because of LOW LEE FEONG

She always bully me for no reason

Bully me. Bully me. Bully me. Bully me

Sibeh pek chek

Terrible.. terrible.. terrible...

Plus today my fb cant open.

And my hotel city. And my empire.

And suddenly my classes changed to night class ad.

Not one but two!

And my cough getting worse and worse

But i still dont want to go pku..

What am i waiting for?

Waiting for medicine to fall down from the sky for me wakaka

Speechless

July 22 Hours1054

p.s. Fion is staring at me while i am writing this post reg her~ lol

Not staring. More to glaring. haha

Enough of Blogging. Back to reports =p

Inception

Okay,i'm losing my touch in blogging. Dont know, after not blogging for some time, it feels different to blog again..

So sweat.. But anyway, after my thoughts, now i'm going to get started on my weekend =)

Genting was great. Superb. Beyond words. Thank you guys. Hugss.

Although there were some.. regrets ehem.. but i appreciate the one-day all the same.

Take that from me. From the depths of my heart. Looking forward to our next trip.. XD

Although after coming back. my immune system got some shock, and gave me some surprises which lasted till now, but after thinking back, its worth it. Definitely.

Last thurs had a one-day-movie outing with my coursemate. Street Dance. Wow. Cool..

That guy is so charming. He's not really that handsome, but his moves, wow, amazing.

And Saturday had another groceries-outing which ended up with a movie, Inception.

One of the movies which really tested my skills of imagination,my understanding, my brain power, almost everything.

Tata. I got into the trouble of getting a poster from google. No handsome guys here, but somehow, this movie made me think a lot.

Although i dont really understand the ending until i need some help from my frens..

Cant blame me, blame my fren for sms-ing me at the last crucial 30 minutes of the movie lol

But anyway,

Dreams vs Realities.

Realities vs Dreams.

Dreams AND Realities.

I wish...

*Closing my eyes for 5 seconds and think*

I just wished a wish that was impossible to achieve, but i wish i could.

How nice.. if there are no boundaries. Us

Posted Hours 1854 21July 2010

A Week

A week since i have last updated my blog.

A week seems so fast. Extremely so. More that i can imagine.

Blogging here seems complicated. And surprisingly hard.

When i have the mood, i dont have the line.

When i have the line, i dont have the mood.

And sometimes, i dont have the mood and the line, so there's nothing else to say.

So now, when i have an initiative, even if the initiative is very small, i take the trouble to sit down here alone and blog.

Okay la actually i'm here waiting for a friend whom i think ffk-ed me, but actually i'm glad for the time alone.

(But hopefully he still remembers to find me, something very important to discuss with him ler...mr shawn)

Blogging helps me reflect. And think. It has become my passion, and i hope it never fails me.

First thing that comes into my mind is that, i'm changing.

I dont know why so dont ask me why

I did a lot of things, which, i dont think i will do normally, previously.

I wont tell you what, but if you are close to me, perhaps you will notice.

At times, I thought, i thought, and i thought. But i dont understand why.

But actually. Understanding, Is it really that important?

More important than actions?

I used to think actions are more important, but now i think likewise.

Thoughts can do even more wonders than what you may do, as some actions only comes from responsibilities, and not from the heart.

Responsibility is a strong word. It may mean a lot, but it may also not

If you do something for me jz cz of the responsibility, for the sake of doing it, of having done it, then i guess better not do it.

If you understand me, you will know what i really want. But actually, very few people know this.

Someone once told me, i'm very reserved.

The things i want, i wont tell you. My dreams, i wont tell you.

Dont get me wrong, i'm not afraid. Nor am i worried that i will get ridiculed for my thoughts

I dont know why. Perhaps its just my style.

So what will i tell you? Crap.. Haha

Not really lar. If i'm serious to you then i will talk back serious stuff to you. But also depends on my mood. Hahaha

Seeking. Finding. Lol. Dreaming

People think, dreaming is a funny word. Something that only exists in fantasy land.

But do they know, dreaming is actually the basis to thoughts, and thoughts are the basis to actions?

What we are today, is because of our dreams.

Who we are tomorrow, is also because of our dreams.

How we live, how we survive, our choices, are also because of.. our dreams.

So dont look down on the power of dreams. The power of sleep..

So prof, can we be excused for taking a short nap in class? =p

Excuse me. Just dreaming.. as usual

Hours 1830 July 21 2010

The First Step

Taking the first step is not easy, but bear in mind, its never difficult.

Taking a break is not compulsory, but it is always necessary

Taking charge is not a momentary decision, its a thoughtful challenge.

My heart may be fragile, but i am careful to prevent it from getting to near the edges.

Taking a step at a time, there's no reason to cry.

This is not the first time, i am actually getting used to it.

I also dont know if its a good or bad thing.

Thinking from the positive mindset, it may be a good thing; choosing to accept.

Posted Hours 0921, July 13 2010

Secret =)

Packing nightmare..

I am in the mood of humiliating myself. Really omg.. Lolz

Back from Penang on 9th July, approx 4pm. Then off to iron my clothes, wash, etc etc..

Only started packing at approx 9 plus cz have to wait for my clothes to dry..

So in the end, packing up to around 1 am..

No procrastinations this time cz early 10th will be leaving to kl...

Mum said, if you cant finish packing, bear all the consequences yourself..

And so i packed..

And packed..

And packed..

Until i have no more energy

I dont know where everything went, all seemed to have evaporated into thin air..

And i saw many unpacked clothes from inside my luggage back, all untouched since 2 months ago..

Dont faint when you see the next picture.. =)

Presenting..

My room on the night of 9th..

Really omg...

Just imagine how long i need to take to put everything back in and pack back..

I dont even know where to start. But luckily everything okay ad.

At least i didnt forget anything. I hope not XD

Well, not yet at the moment =)

Had some cool cakes when packing to give me an extra boost..

LAck of time to pack..

Plus very tired after penang trip..tortured by my fren a lot.. muahaha

Superb delicious =) But very creamy.. after eating i begin to regret..

But it isnt everyday that i get to eat this, so its okay..

Consoling myself.. hahaha

Wont have too much time blogging, so i resorted back to the old way..my personal diary

Its time for a new chapter..

A new life..

A new hope

posted Hours 1632, July 12 2010

This is..

Absurd.

I know i have said this countless times, but really, time flies.

I AM ALREADY A THIRD YEAR STUDENT

Third year? Barely feels like it.

I can feel that my head is really really empty..

Had my first class of 4821 today. Really really boring..

Can barely wait for the class to end. Haha

Hate hate hate course registrations..

Now torn between the choice of 4824 or 4825

Really envy coursemates that can take both subjects..

Blame Halal. Blame the credits quota. Blame everything. Lol. My favourite.

But no use crying over split milk. Take things as they go... =)

Optimistic me? Haha

Yesterday, i deleted all the msn conversation histories at my laptop.

It was bittersweet, but i know if i dont learn to let go, i will never will.

I hesitated twice.

Once was during the official deleting where they ask us time and again if we really want to send all those to the recycle bin.

Once was at the recycle bin where they ask us if we really want to permanently delete everything.

Permanently delete.

But everything's now gone, i am learning to adapt, and accept, and is starting to love my decision.

How nice if its really that simple deleting everything in my mind as well.

Just a click of a mouse...

But i can. Give me some time.

This is the 1st blog post of my 3rd sem. Blogged at the computer lab while waiting for the next class.

To a new sem- cheers =)

p.s. Looking forward to this weekend. =)

Posted Hours 1525 12July 2010

Journeys and Destinations

Life is a journey, not a destination.

The pair of legs are ours, how we walk our life, is of our own choice.

If we keep thinking its our destination, we will feel so tired.

Goals after goals, work after work, burden after burden..

Super tired today.

Probably the last blog post i'm writing after midnight at home this sem break..

Kinda missing this feeling.

The feeling of freedom, the feeling of clarity in mind, the feeling of calmness.

Glad chatting with msn tonight with you.

But i really shouldn think too much.

Good night =)

p.s. Just back from Penang. Became part time model for 2 full days. Lol

Hours 0125 June 10 2010

p/s happy bday uncle =D paiseh sing at the imigration today.. sing to you now..
Happy bday to you =D

My Sem Hols

Honestly, when sem break started, i have never expected it would be like that.

It was far from expectations. Extremely. I thought my sem break will be very simple, very ordinary,just like previous sems.

But it was not. However, i was glad for the changes though =)

I got my first job that requires me to travel outstation,

and later a second job that really challenged me, maybe the word challenged is incorrect, the right phrase should be- a job that really bored me

a third job in which i took leave from my 2nd job to work for it,

and my 4th job that was really hmm.. comment-less

And in between my job frames, i have the chance to go to Singapore (thanks SiewLi and MissPinky=) ),

and also to Thailand with my extended family, in which i scuba-dived for the first time in my life,

and later to Penang (8 more hours to be exact =) )

In all, the pay from the jobs are used to deduct the expenses, so when sem reopens, i'm back to zero. Swt..

After my last job which ended on the 27th, i had the chance to meet up with some old classmates, and i really enjoy time spent together with them.

I dont know why, maybe its the feeling of familiarity, i feel that they are different from frens in uni.

I cant express why, nor i understand why i have this kind of feeling, but i love the differences i feel.

They gave me the break i wanted. With them, the word impress doesnt exist because we jz knew what we wanted.

Perhaps we met one another when we were all still innocent, thats why we knew each other better.

We were once crazy together. We learnt so many things together. We learnt to face the world together.

With them, sometimes, without words, thoughts could be understood even with the look in the eye.

Perhaps thats the differences between frens we meet at different stages of our life.

The first meeting was a little awkward i can say, but we adapted.

With them, i went for my 1st ever silent-movie midnight football match. It was also the 1st match that i ever watched the 90 mins full. Brazil-Netherlands =)

With them, i went for my 1st maiden bowling game. Yupzz, improving by each game. At the end of the 1st game, i managed to get 9 pins inside=p

Still got lots of things to catch up though. And yea. cant resist smiling when i thought back of the name written on the bowling arcade plat. Hana, Dugi, Musqui,Fishy. omg. BAd bad WaiYew. Lol

With them, i went back to school for the 1st time ever since i got my STPM cert.

Going back to school gave me a nostalgic feel.

The Prefects' Room, the Voyager Room, 6AE, the canteen, and even the corridors.

Those were places were i grew up, where i learned so many definitions, where i gained so much.

I really wish we can turn back time, and live those days all over again.

Of cz, i know i cant, we can only look forward. But at the same time, there's no harm jz reflecting.

I really miss those days. When i tell the teachers i'm ad in my 2nd year, that moment, i can really feel that time is indeed flying.

2 years. Has it been that long? In another 2 years, what will life be like?

ANd of cz, some teachers are as cute as ever. Boyish? Mature? Lol..

Not me la. My frens =) haha

After this 1 week spent together, all of us will part ways once again.

Hoping our trips will become a reality XD Its not easy, but perhaps its possible.

How many times can we meet again? Thats life. There's always meets and farewells.

Till the next time we meet again...

Thank you guys. For everything.

Happy bday Li-Shan. Once again =)

p.s. I think you guys are gonna kill me for uploading so many random shots of you guys =p

Believe it or not, i only bring my camera when i'm out with you guys. lolz.

But you guys are cool. Take it from me =)

Hours 0116, July 7 2010

The Feeling..

is back.

I miss the feeling.

The feeling of carefreeness, the feeling that can really make me smile from the heart.

Not that i feel old, but this feeling makes me feel young again.

I love this feel.

It felt so good, i want to feel it again. And i believe i will =)

Today, i read a line from a book, stating "I am responsible for my own feelings"

And i realised, its really true. There are no right or wrong feelings. Just the right and wrong mindset.

I will learn to be a happier person. I promise you.

Tmr, will be going for another holiday before the start of another horrible nightmare- 5th Sem

Something to look forward to =)

But first, need to thank WaiYew for fetching me to buy tickets.. yay

Hours 2335, July 6

FInally

My brain is tired, no thoughts to share today

But haven updated my blog for days, so decided to just get some random updates done =)

Finally, i have the holiday feel..

Sem break started since end of April but now only i'm free without any commitments

Almost immediately after sem break ends, i am stuck with a job.

Then another, then hols break, then another job, then now a week left before sem starts..

Before that, another holiday.. yay

Am i prepared for the start of the sem?

Not really. Today, i got the scare of my life.

I cant find my matrix card. Die le.. Hope it wil come back soon when i hav time to clear my luggage

I am sad to say that the pile had remained the same ever since i brought back them from uni months ago, now no need to pack ad also can bring the pile straight back to uni lol

And i haven washed my shoes ( My procrastinations getting more and more serious)

I wanted to get the sales report done, so i opened my pencilbox and found it almost empty..

The highlighers, my best frens before i come back, has gone dry for no reason, and has found a new place to stay in the bin

And my pendrives, wow.. have not seen them for months

Probably the virus inside would have multiplied and maybe triplified.. haha..

So many things undone, my lucky stars, unfolded

And so many more. Uncountable.. Which also includes some personal commitments

I think..

This sem break, i really changed a lot. But in what way, i am not so sure. I dont know

What to expect when sem reopens? Suddenly my brain will have to get back to high speed study mood all of a sudden. Hope it can still survive. Haha

And no more internet at night. I dont know why, i like to get online at night.

Perhaps, the feel is different. The surrounding is different. The serenity of the night, makes me calm, makes me comfortable, far from the rush of the day.

But all is going to end soon. Back to the world of ISO, back to the world of experiments and more experiments, and more reports.. and not to mention exams.. omg..

The more i think of it, the more omg i start to feel. Stop thinking.. dont let myself spoil my night =p

But before that, i have a lot of things to look forward to. Tmr will be a great day

Good night

Hours 0140 2 July 2010

p.s. Happy bday Miss Tang =)